For You, I'd Travel the World
by Cowboys-and-coffee
Summary: It's been five years. She's happy. She has a baby. So does he. She thought she was over him. But she's about to learn she thought wrong. Set immediately after PP 5.22 and Grey's 8.24


"Addison Forbes Montgomery, will you marry me?"

She's staring at him open-mouthed, her mind reeling. There are not many times in life that Addison finds herself speechless, but this is definitely one of them. She prays that Henry will start screaming any second to break the awkward silence that is rapidly filling the kitchen as Sam continues to stare at her and she just blankly looks back at him.

She's wondering if it would make her a horrible mother if she pinched her baby to make him cry when the next best thing happens. The phone rings.

She hurriedly fumbles for it, ignoring Sam's request to "leave it be," frowning at the Seattle area code that flashes across the screen.

"Hello?" she answers.

"Addison, it's Richard."

Something's wrong. She knows it immediately. She can tell by the way his voice is shaking slightly, even though she thinks he's trying really hard to mask it.

Her fingers grip the phone tighter, her other arm pulling Henry in closer to her. Her stomach is in knots, and she feels a little lightheaded.

A horrible sense of dread is starting to wash over her.

He starts to talk then. Words ring in her ears. _Plane. Lost. Crash. Derek. Mark. No word._

By the time he's finished, she can't breathe. She literally can't breathe. She can feel the air trapped in her lungs, but nothing is coming in or going out. She feels herself start to shake. The room is spinning. She's pretty sure she's going to pass out.

The next thing she's aware of is sobbing into Jake's shoulder.

_Jake? Where did he come from?_

But she can't stop crying long enough to ask. It's like she's not in control of herself or her body anymore. She literally cannot stop crying. Her arms feel like lead. Her chest feels like it's being slowly crushed.

It's not until she realizes that Henry is not anywhere next to her that she pulls herself together.

"Where is he? Where's my baby?" She's stumbling to her feet, scanning the room. Did she drop him? Is he hurt?

"Addison. Addison, he's right here." And Violet is placing Henry back into her arms. She blinks at Violet, not remembering how she got here either, but she doesn't ask. She just pulls Henry to her chest, kisses his head and lets even more tears roll down her cheeks.

They — Jake, Sam, Violet — make her lie on the couch. They try to get her to eat, or sleep, or talk, but she doesn't do any of those things. Instead she turns on the TV and flips channels repeatedly, searching and searching for news.

"Why isn't it on the news yet?" she cries out at one point, which leads to another round of hysterical sobbing. This time, Jake has to get a paper bag for her to breathe into.

She's sure her friends think she's gone crazy at this point. Maybe she has. Mark and Derek are her friends, and she is scared out of her mind for them, but she hasn't seen them in months. They barely even talk on the phone anymore, all of them busy with their respective children.

They both did send her presents for Henry, though, and the thought of the adorable little fishing hat Derek gave him results in another fresh round of tears.

She sees Jake, Sam and Violet all watching her from the corner of the room, as though she is going to break in front of them. Or break more than she already has. She knows Sam and Violet are thinking about how she was when her mother died, and so is she. It's so like her WASPy upbringing to fail her now and leave her a teary snotty mess.

At three in the morning, after repeated calls to Richard, each time ending with him telling her they don't know anything more, she decides she can't keep doing this. She has to go. She needs to be in Seattle. When they are found. _If they are found._

She bites her lip to keep from crying again at the thought. She's surprised there are still tears left to shed at this point.

"Addison," Sam starts, but she shakes her head.

"No," she says. "I need to do this. And you don't get to tell me otherwise."

He holds his hands up, in self-defense. "I'm not going to stop you. I'm going with you."

She shakes her head again. "No," she says. "You're not."

She sees Jake shoot a look at Sam, then turn to her. "I'll go with you," he says.

She shakes her head for the third time. "No," she says. "Just me. And Henry."

"Addison," they both say, like a perfectly rehearsed duet, but she interrupts.

"I don't want either of you there!" Her voice rises a little, and she can tell they know she means it. This time, they both just nod.

"We'll drive you to the airport," Jake says. "You shouldn't be driving."

"Fine," she says, and she heads upstairs to make the arrangements and throw some things in a bag.

The pilot says they can be ready to leave at seven. It's the longest four hours of her life. She shoves stuff into a bag, then takes it all out and then repacks it again.

The third time she does this, Violet grabs her hand to stop her and pulls her into a hug. She loses it again in Violet's arms.

She remembers halfway to the airport that she hasn't told Amelia. Jake promises that he will tell her. She promises to call as soon as she hears something.

Jake and Sam help her on to the plane and make sure she and Henry are safe and buckled in.

"It'll be okay," Jake says as he kisses her forehead.

"It will be," Sam echoes.

She doesn't know if she believes that. But she desperately wants to.

"They just have to be okay," she whispers into the silence as the plane lifts into the air. "They just have to be."

She knows in her heart there is no other option.


End file.
